know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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