But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
