Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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