i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
