Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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