she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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