i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
