I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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