I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize