these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize