I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
