I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
