It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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