I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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