If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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