Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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