he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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