Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
