i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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