No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
