i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
