im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
