My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
