Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
