belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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