I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
