There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
