"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
