Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
