The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dignity is for republicans.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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