none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
