Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
