Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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