she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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