i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
