New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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