just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
