Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
