Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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