Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Randomize
