You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
