I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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