Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize