If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
