every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize