in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm getting married
To pizza
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
