Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
