I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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