everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
