I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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