How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
