Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
