oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think my vagina is haunted
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
