I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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