Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
