I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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