I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize