She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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