clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
