i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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