I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
