I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
