Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
