How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
