i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
